Yucky Mummy contributor Leisa starts 2008 with good intentions – and a lock on the pantry door.
It’s time for new year’s resolutions and I am frustrated. Actually it’s not so much time for resolutions, more a time, after the excess of Christmas, to start worrying about my weight and doing something about it. This year I even pre-planned when I would get ‘back on my bike’ and start eating healthily and exercising. I even had Santa deliver me a home trainer for my mountain bike (a stand, to turn my bike into a stationary exercise bike).
By January 7 I was doing well.
Breakfast: too easy. Some yoghurt or Special K. Much better than the fried eggs, bacon and garlic mushrooms made with lashings of butter enjoyed over the ‘Christmas week’. This diet thing is easy.
Lunch: a meat and salad sandwich and a piece of fruit. Who said dieting was hard? All this fresh fruit and vegetable makes me feel good and actually tastes pretty dam good as well.
‘Just after lunch’: stare at the packets of chips that have overtaken our pantry (hubbie works for a food manufacturer). Decide that “Well it is the holiday season” and once all the crisps are gone, there’ll be no more temptation. Open packet of chips. Devour entire packet (perhaps I should point out at this stage that these are not the regular single-serve size, but ‘family’ size). Oh well, I can always start my diet tomorrow, I ponder as I make my way to the lolly jar. After all the salt of the chips, I need something sweet!
Dinner: dinner? I am too full from all the junk I ate in the afternoon. I feel full, bloated and disgusting. But, perhaps I am a little peckish … I’ll just open the pantry again…
Having been moderately active over Christmas, I just need to step up my regime if I really want to lose those ‘Krismas Kilos’. Ahhh, bless Santa, my home trainer. I’ll just set it up, and place in front of the telly. Then each morning I will wake early at 7am, bike for 30 to 40 minutes, while watching and Kochie and watch the kilos melt away … plus I get the added bonus of having my bike used more often. I am so clever.
Next day: awoke at 7am. Put on shorts, T Shirt and thongs. See this is great – I can train in thongs! TV on and pedal. What is that noise? It is driving me crazy and I can’t hear any of Kochie’s ever-so-funny jokes. It sounds like a whirring siren that gets louder and more aggressive the faster I spin. This shouldn’t be happening, the home trainer is made for road bikes and mountain bikes. Alas, while the bike fits, I really need to have ‘slicks’. That is smooth tyres, like a road bike, not the mountain bike tyres, I have on my MOUNTAIN BIKE. I try to ignore the noise, but only last 10 minutes before it drives me insane. Why wasn’t I told this before? Why did the instructions not alert me to this ‘problem’? Having spoken to others, it appears I am not the only one to have fallen into this trap.
So now I am left with the dilemma: do I tell Santa I really appreciate the gift, but lets pop it on e-bay and buy an exercise bike instead? Or do I persevere, and feel my stress levels rise as the kilos lower? I guess the answer is obvious. It was all so perfect in my head, but as we all know, reality is a whole different ball game. After all, losing weight is extremely simple: eat less and move more. Can’t get any simpler. Then why is it so hard and why do so many good plans and intentions fall apart?
Tomorrow is another day. Perhaps I’ll start my ‘resolution’ then. For now it is off to make a cup of fennel tea. Doesn’t taste too bad and has the added bonus of stopping carbohydrate cravings. A lock on the pantry door also helps.